PureInsight | December 25, 2016
[PureInsight.org] Over a year, all my ordeals were from the attachment of sentimentality. It made me depress for a while and influenced my cultivation.
My husband attended a University students Party; visited some students and teachers nearby. Then he came into contact with a lady who liked him in the University. Although they both had family now, their interaction in the WeChat were already beyond normal friends in my eyes. People all believed we were a loving couple by understanding and trusting each other. I couldn’t accept and accused him of betrayal of marriage and me. He said, “I do nothing just say too much. But I don’t deceive you. If you are unhappy, I won’t contact her.” I felt so aggrieved and wanted to divorce. He thought I was crazy because of menopause. My teenage son reminded me of “truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” when we fought with each other. However, I couldn’t listen to him and completely forgot to eliminate the attachment of sentimentality.
Master said in Zhuan Falun, “In cultivation you need to eliminate karma, and eliminating karma is painful—how on earth could you increase gong in total comfort!" "There’s only a little bit left, which is distributed across different levels so that you can improve your character. The tribulations are set up to temper your mind and get rid of your different attachments. They’re your own tribulations, and we use them to improve your character. You should be able to overcome all of them.”
I grew up in a relatively good family without any hardship. It was also smooth for living abroad 20 years. I felt such helplessness in face of it and my life was all messed up. My mind was occupied by strong ordinary people’s idea and the relationship between couple was on top of anything. The old force took advantage of my loophole to make me depressed. In “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”, Master said: "But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth; when humans go through hardship and suffer it is so that they may pay off karma and thereby have happiness in the future. A cultivator thus needs to cultivate by correct and upright truths. Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level—it’s an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth. But as cultivation is lived out, when the suffering bears down on you and conflicts come up that hit upon the deepest part of you—and especially when it rattles the rigid notions you have—the test is really hard to pass. It can even be to the point that you know full well it’s a test but still can’t let go of your attachments.”
It was true. I couldn’t put it down even I knew I should.
Later, we had Shen Yun promotion locally. To better save the sentient beings, I requested myself to study Fa at least one chapter with five exercises every day. Plus I sent forth righteous thoughts to put down the attachments of sentimentality. I often exchanged with fellow practitioners based on Fa. Cultivation was such serious and we had to think about anything based on Fa. Actually everything was to improve myself. I realized the old forces wanted to take advantage of the attachment of sentimentality to knock me down. The more I involved into the illusion; the deeper I was stuck. In three months, I sold tickets in the shopping mall 5 to 6 days every week to introduce Shen Yun. Once I was out of my family, I asked myself to only focus on tickets sale. If nobody was there, I tried to memorize On Dafa (Lunyu). After a while, my depression disappeared and righteous thoughts became stronger. I was clearer about the fellow practitioner’s responsibility during the Fa-rectification period. Our responsibility was to save sentient beings with good cultivation. Family members were also sentient beings to be saved; and I couldn’t push them to the opposite of Dafa. In addition, my son got rid of bad habits and resumed normal life. I wouldn’t go into a dead end; so the relationship between my husband and I improved.
March of this year, I began to clarify the truth through the phone in the rescue platform. Within just six months, lots of my attachments were exposed especially the attachment of fighting and resentment. At the beginning, I always faced down the people at the other side of the phone to let them accept my truth without Dafa practitioners' compassion. Sometimes I could realize it but never took it seriously. Until the end of August, my Mom talked to me through the phone, “You were the most unpromising one at home, betraying the country and the party. Why do you do that?” I was shocked because my Mom was very kind and timid person, but she has been unable to accept I couldn’t return. I clarified the truth to my parents before and they listened to Master’s lectures as well. How could she talk like that? My attachments of fighting and resentment came out immediately. I asked my Mom how she could be such confused without knowing good or evil. She was the victim and she was still not clear until now. I never thought about my Mom’s feeling. She experienced so many political movements and was so scared. She worried about me a lot.
The next day, my sister told me my Mom had a heart attack in bed. My Mom daren’t look at me in the video. My Dad who loved me pretty much complained about me and stared at me with hatred eyes. I felt so bad after that phone call. They were not like my parents. There must be some Communist Party evil behind them. I looked inward and found my resentment attachment. I found I not only blamed my family members, but complained about my friend who was not a practitioner. There was a resentment field around me. Later I found it and eliminated it. In daily life, I tried to eliminate them by sending forth righteous thoughts and reminded myself to be tolerant. Now I got better.
Two weeks later, I forced myself to call my parents because of the traditional Mid-Autumn Festival. To my surprise, my Dad was very happy to hear me and asked if I had any moon cake. My Mom also happily asked me a lot. It was like nothing happened. I knew it was Master who helped me to eliminate my bad things and my parents’ Communist Party evil behind them. Their true nature was coming out.
My parents were also sentient beings to be saved. Their changes made me realize that: my own situation including my thoughts and my dimensional field would influence if they could be saved. The Public Prosecutor's Officers were like my parents. I also needed to save them with righteous thoughts in the Fa-rectification. I understood the importance of continuing Fa study. Sometimes, if I couldn’t concentrate at Fa study, I would listen to Master’s lecture to support myself. It was a big help for me to improve Xinxing and overcome the barriers. I knew I was far behind Master’s requirement as a Dafa practitioner during the Fa- rectification. I would fulfill my pre-historic vows and accomplish the tasks by more diligent cultivation.
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/155138
