PureInsight | December 2, 2018
[PureInsight.org] After reading the Minghui experience sharing article "The Risk of Not Recognizing Fundamental Mistakes", I also reflected on the cultivation road that I have taken, and I feel that studying more Fa is the foundation for cultivation. By doing so, practitioners can make fewer mistakes.
I am 76 years old this year. Since I was a child, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) persecuted my family simply because they were categorized as rich landlords. The CCP provoked villagers to fight, discriminate against, and suppress my family members and me. I grew up in an environment filled with fear and discrimination. Therefore, I developed into a timid and compromising person. I retired in 1992. I did not have regular income, yet I suffered from various illnesses. I lived a very difficult life. I always contemplated suicide. Some Falun Gong practitioners who lived in my community told me Falun Gong was great. I asked if I could learn Falun Gong. They said, “Definitely!” They helped me buy Dafa books and brought me to the group exercise site. After practicing Falun Gong, all my illnesses vanished. I was thrilled and extremely thankful to our Master. I thought in my heart that I would never give up cultivation.
After the persecution of Dafa by CCP started, I went to Tiananmen Square with other practitioners to shout, “Falun Dafa is good.” At that time, I was not afraid of anything. Nonetheless, after I was arrested and sentenced to a forced labor camp, I succumbed to the evil. I gave up Dafa against my own will. I wrote down what I should not write, said what I should not say, and did something bad that should never be done. I am so sorry to Master. I am so sorry to Dafa. After I was released, some fellow practitioners came to visit me. I told them I would not practice Dafa anymore. I would believe in Christianity instead. Since I gave up Dafa, all my illnesses had come back. I took lots of medicine and saw many doctors. My husband and children were very worried.
Compassionate Master never gave up on me as a disciple who did not do well. Master arranged one of my relatives, also a Dafa practitioner, to come to my house and talk to me. He talked to me for two days. Initially I refused to listen to him, but gradually I understood what he meant. How could I give up Dafa when I experienced the magic of Dafa myself? It was because of my fear. I had been persecuted by CCP since childhood. I was afraid of CCP. I was afraid of being persecuted for the rest of my life. I was afraid that my children would be persecuted because of me. But why did I fear? It was because even though I learned Dafa, I did not truly understand why I learned Dafa. I still thought of curing illnesses and gaining health benefits from Dafa. I was extremely grateful to Master because Master cured my illnesses, but that was all. I was controlled by human attachments, emotions, and thought karma. Even though I obtained Dafa, I still used human thoughts to judge Dafa. I never used Dafa to evaluate everything I encountered. I never understood why I learned Dafa, why Master cured my illnesses unconditionally, and why Master saved me unconditionally. I never understood the meaning of life, where I truly came from, where I go after death, and where my true home is. I never understood why Master spread Dafa to us, how to understand the Fa from the Fa, and how to advance one’s level through the Fa.
I reflected back on my cultivation path after my understandings of the Fa changed. I began to realize that even though I learned Dafa, I learned too little. In the past, I only understood the superficial level of Dafa instead of the profound meaning behind the words. Basically, I was following other people. When other people practiced Dafa, I practiced Dafa. When other people decided to validate the Fa, I followed them. I tried to use human thoughts to understand Dafa. My only feeling toward Dafa and Master was appreciation. Dafa improved my xinxing, health, and family relationships. However, I did not truly understand why I obtained the Fa or the goal of cultivation. I never tried to assimilate myself into the Fa. Even though I said that I wanted to return to my original, true self through cultivation, I did not truly realize the importance of this in my heart. I always thought returning to the true self was far away from me. Unlike things in the ordinary world that could easily move my heart, the universe seemed too vast to even relate to me. All my tribulations were the results of not studying the Fa well, truly assimilating into the Fa, and judging things according to the Fa. I did not realize that Dafa is the ultimate cause of all life. Therefore, I was swayed by human attachments. I made wrong choices in tribulations. I gave up Dafa and followed the evil path. I upset Master and upset all sentiment beings in my world. As Master said in True Nature Revealed, “In the face of tests one’s true nature is revealed.” My xinxing was revealed when facing tribulations. Even though I once felt good on my cultivation when I did not have many tribulations, I was not actually good. It was our benevolent Master who saved me again and gave me new life.
Since then, I restarted practicing Dafa. For more than ten years, I have studied a lot of Fa every day. I have tried my best to improve in the Fa, deny and eliminate old forces’ interference from every single thought, do the three things well to save more people, and look within to improve myself. My feeling is that your belief in the Fa will become stronger and stronger as you study more Fa, you will be increasingly willing to study Fa as you study more Fa, and you will increasingly understand the greatness of Master and Dafa as you study more Fa. You will feel increasingly lucky to obtain the Fa as you study more Fa. You will increasingly understand your responsibility of saving people as you study more Fa. You will increasingly feel the seriousness of cultivation as you study more Fa. As you save more people, you will understand Master’s benevolent compassion towards sentient beings. You will also understand the importance, solemnity, and sanctity of fulfilling the vows signed with our great Master. You will also feel uneasy because of the sentient beings who haven’t been saved yet. There are so many people to save. I deeply feel that I do not have enough time to save everyone, but I will still try my best to save more people.
Above are just my cultivation experiences. If I said anything wrong, please correct me.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/246758