PureInsight | May 29, 2021
[PureInsight.org] I am a veteran disciple who was fortunate enough to obtain the Fa in September 1996. I have been practicing for more than 20 years. Despite reading the Fa, practicing the exercises, validating the Fa, saving sentient beings, and sending forth righteous thoughts, I still encountered many tribulations. I have been looking inwards, but in recent years I have experienced many abnormal physical conditions that are worsening. When I study the Fa, there seems to be a layer that separates me from the Fa, preventing me from truly immersing myself in the Fa. I have read Zhuan Falun thousands of times and memorized it 20 times. Especially in recent years, I have felt that Fa principles have not been revealed to me, my cultivation state has been unstable, and I have not had strong righteous thoughts. I have been distressed for a long time. I know this is a long-term bottleneck in my cultivation that I have not overcome. What should I do? I am very anxious, but Master guides us in Dafa cultivation after all. The other day Master hinted at me while I was memorizing the Fa, "One is that they can’t make spiritual progress if they don’t have the higher guidance of the Way; and the other is that they won’t get higher energy if they don’t work on themselves or strive to perfect their character. These two reasons sum it up” (Zhuan Falun). I must calm down and look inwards for the problem. First, I will discussing looking inwards regarding Fa study. Then I will discuss looking inwards for xinxing problems with the goal of uprooting them!
1. Seeking Quantity
Master said in Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa, "But consider what I have said: if whatever it is that you’re doing is not grounded in the Fa, if it does not have the power of the Fa, and if you haven’t cultivated well, you will not do those things well. Although you might have done whatever it is, it has not achieved any effect and simply cannot save people, for you are ineffective in dissolving evil factors. That is why Fa-study is still the most, most important thing—it is the fundamental guarantee for all that you are to do. If you cannot keep up in Fa-study, then there is no hope.”
I think any disciple who is a true cultivator knows the importance of Fa study. For over 20 years of cultivation, I have always prioritized Fa study. In addition to reading the Fa, I started memorizing the Fa in 2004. Aside from being illegally detained and sent to labor camps many times where memorizing the Fa was difficult, I continued to memorize the Fa here and there. It was not until 2016 when I was sent home due to severe persecution that I started memorizing continuously. To this day, I have memorized the Fa more than 20 times. But over the past two years, Fa study and memorization have become a formality, so the Fa principles have not been revealed to me for a long time. This is a very serious problem.
I remember my thoughts were very pure when I first started memorizing the Fa, "The Fa is so good I must memorize it." Therefore, over the first few years, through Fa memorization I received Master’s enlightenment and felt that I benefited greatly. However, I neglected something very important: to assimilate to the Fa! Master said in Hong Yin – Solid Cultivation, "Study the Fa and gain the Fa, / Focus on how you study and cultivate, / Let each and every thing be measured against the Fa. / Only then, with that, is it actually cultivation".
Because of my attachment to showing off, fellow practitioners around me all knew I was good at memorizing the Fa. Many practitioners admired me for learning the Fa well because I often referenced Fa principles when communicating with them. I inadvertently treated the quantity of Fa memorized as my bragging rights. My attachments to showing off and fame arose without my awareness, yet I continued to set memorization standards for the number of pages per day and sections per year. I began emphasizing the speed and quantity of Fa memorization, which not only reflected the attachment to intent, but also an attachment to impatience and anxiety (I am already an anxious person). This led to an inability to extricate myself from these attachments whenever I memorized the Fa as if something was controlling me. I did not know the meaning of the Fa I was memorizing. Although I am cultivating closed, I realize from the Fa that any attachment exists as a substance in another dimension and is alive. Not letting go of or denying these attachments for a long time is tantamount to nourishing them. In turn, they can control you.
2. Seeking Revelation of Fa Principles
What other attachment to intent did I have? Over the past few years, I have read many fellow practitioners’ experience sharing articles and received encouragement. In particular, some fellow practitioners shared that good Fa study can reveal many high-level principles. Aside from admiration, my attachments to impatience and intent arose: I have studied so much Fa, so why have I not experienced this? When reading and memorizing the Fa, another attachment emerged: I also wanted a miracle, a profound revelation of the Fa, or a breakthrough in level, and so on. Just like the person who sought abilities as mentioned in Zhuan Falun, "And he will only get more anxious about it when he sees others gaining powers, and then try all the harder to get powers like higher vision or the ability to heal." Master has mentioned many times in Zhuan Falun, "Remember that your energy will only be as great as your character". How can energy grow without practicing and improving character? How could one’s level possibly increase? How could higher-level Fa principles be revealed? Is this not a joke? The more I seek, the less likely it is.
I have not seen the Fa principles for a long time, and I am in a helpless, passive, and numb state. I have always continued studying and memorizing the Fa, but every day I study the Fa mechanically like completing a task. What effect does this mentality have on studying the Fa? Master said in Zhuan Falun, "That’s because you would be wanting them, and that would be an attachment. And attachments are precisely what spiritual practice aims to do away with." "I could have you instantly reach the stage of practice known as ‘three flowers gathered at the crown,’ but the energy involved would fall off as soon as you left here. It wouldn’t be yours since you hadn’t cultivated it, and so it couldn’t remain there. Nobody could put energy there for you since your character hadn’t reached that stage. It must be the fruits of your own spiritual efforts, of your own refinement of the mind. Spiritual progress is only possible if you work solidly on developing higher energy, constantly improve, and attune yourself to the qualities of the universe."
Based on my current understanding, above are two important reasons that lead to studying the Fa but not gaining the Fa. These attachments are deeply hidden. One cannot realize them without digging deeply.
(To be continued)
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/265372