Sudden Realization: Fear of Displeasing or Hurting Others

Mei Yu

PureInsight | October 10, 2007

[] Just a few
days ago, I was a person who still feared causing trouble and
displeasing others. Maybe all the people who like to be quiet are like
this and do not want to get involved in heated issues. I would do
whatever was assigned to me and tried not to get involved with other
things. I was proud of being self-contained.

Recently, a question suddenly entered my mind like a nail being punched
in: "Please tell me, what is the relationship between the fear of
displeasing people and hurting people?"

I was actually too lazy to think about it, but being firmly "nailed," I
had to ponder the question. Upon thinking about it, I discovered an
important issue: the relationship between the two is actually the
difference between kindness and evil, between selflessness and

Think about it. What is the origin of "the fear of displeasing others?"
Is it not the fear of being the target of revenge later and losing
one's self-interest in the future? On contrary, the first thought in
"fear of hurting others" concerns other people's feelings or interests,
and not wanting to make them unhappy. It is for the sake of the other

The people who are afraid of displeasing others worry about their own
self-interest's being hurt all the time, thus do not say and do what
they should. They do not uphold a sense of justice and the standard for
good or evil. What they are thinking is not to get involved and hurt no
matter what the issue is. In a word, it's ok as long as they themselves
are safe. What a selfish notion this is!

The people who are worried about hurting others consider others at
every moment, because it is bad to do bad things to others. They
require themselves to not only not do things that hurt others, not say
things that hurt others, but also not to harbor thoughts about hurting
others. This is selfless benevolence.

The miracle is that after realizing the difference between the two, I
noticed that reading or listening to the Fa principles that Master has
taught us are all telling us "do not hurt others" but never just "do
not displease others."


Even more interestingly, I suddenly realized that my not wanting to get
involved in and say certain things came from the notion of "the fear of
displeasing others," while my not being able to forgive and be kind to
others are exactly because of my lack of the benevolent mind of "the
fear of hurting others."

In just a few days, I leapt forward a big step in the Fa. Now, whenever
I encounter something, my first thought will be how not to hurt others
and how to allow them to accept. At this moment, the feeling in my
heart is peace, serenity and openness.

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