PureInsight | March 14, 2013
[PureInsight.org] I was a very frail and sick child growing up, and I relied on medicine to stay healthy. At the same time, I struggled to search for the meaning of life and for what human beings live for. The Chinese Communist Party’s doctrine of atheism, belief in evolution, and philosophy of struggle caused me to sink into delusion. I didn’t know if the old saying “you reap what you sow” was true, I didn’t know if there was life after death, and I didn’t know if the communist claim that “religion is an opiate of the people” was true. I was skeptical and ambivalent about these things.
Then I experienced something during my third year of high school that made me believe that there is more to life and death than what we can see with our own eyes.
That year, the college entrance exam was scheduled from July 7 to July 9. On the morning of July 5, while I was in the middle of morning study hall, my mouth and eyes started acting strangely, so I asked to take the next few days off and biked home as fast as I could. On the way back, I had to use my books to cover my eyes, otherwise I could only look diagonally upwards and could not see the road. I finally made it home, but my dad, who was the village doctor, wasn’t home. Neither my mother nor my grandmother had seen anything like this, and they were both scared. Luckily my aunt was there, helping to dry wheat. She quickly told me to lie on the bed and put a warm towel to my forehead. I told her, “I’m really nervous.” My aunt asked me, “Where did you come from?” I replied, “I rode my bike back from the railroad.” My aunt asked, “Did you ride past your grandfather’s grave?” I nodded. My aunt quickly brought a bowl of fresh water from the kitchen, put one chopstick in and said, “Did my old father return? If yes, let the chopstick stand upright.” After saying that, she let go of the chopstick, which clattered to the side of the bowl. She picked it up again and said, “Did the village uncle return? If yes, let the chopstick stand upright.” After saying that, she let go of the chopstick, which remained upright. I was very shocked after seeing this with my own eyes. Then I heard my aunt say, “I was busy these last two days, so I couldn’t burn paper for you. I know you’re out of money, so I’ll burn paper at your grave tomorrow. Please leave now.” After saying that, the chopstick clattered to the side of the bowl. My aunt asked me, “Are you still nervous?” I replied, “I’m a lot better. I’m not that nervous anymore.”
After this event, I never scoffed at my aunt’s superstitions anymore. From then on, I believed that people don’t just cease to exist. When humans live in this world, their good deeds are rewarded, and their bad deeds are punished. It is only a matter of whether it happens sooner or later.