PureInsight | August 15, 2016
[PureInsight.org] When Hong Yin IV first came out, I started memorizing it like a thirsty man drinks water. When I memorized the line "You and I were from heaven, reincarnation is not for gaining the upper hand". (Hong Yin IV) （Please note the official translation of Hong Yin IV is not out yet.) I was shocked. Wasn’t this referring to me? Because my starting point was low, I was an ill child upon birth. I constantly had to take medicine and seek treatment; everyday was a struggle with life and death. Unconsciously, I developed a competitive and ambitious personality. When I was a student, even when sick and lying in bed, I didn’t cease studying. In gym class, I would push myself to run 800 meters. This was even more so when I started work. Every day, I strived and fought. This strong minded personality was reflected into my cultivation. On the surface, I appeared very vigorous and diligent. After obtaining the Fa, I memorized Zhuan Falun within a year. After the persecution started in 1999, I was constantly running outside to validate the Fa, all the way up until I was illegally sentenced.
After returning from prison, in order to maintain my livelihood, I set up a personal work studio. My work was just as tiring and busy as before. Deep in the middle of the night, I’d sometimes ask myself, “Why am I still this tired? Why can’t a being that has obtained the Fa manifest a God’s free and unrestrained state? Master said in Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference, “People are saying nowadays that women are becoming more and more liberal and their personalities are getting stronger. In fact, you aren’t being driven by your kind (Shan) side. I don’t think strength is necessarily reflected in a person’s outward expression. If in your daily life you’re like a gentle, true woman, your competence will let you have everything you deserve all the same. You don’t necessarily have to express yourself in tough and manly ways to obtain those things. Do you understand what I’m getting at?” After reflecting on myself, I felt very ashamed. Under the influence of powerful human attachments, the state I manifested was akin to a ghost too deeply lost in the ordinary human world. I wished to do everything well and demanded perfection. Under the guidance of this competitive mindset created by notions formed after birth, the diligence I manifested wasn’t true diligence, but diligence for the purpose of not being outdone and validating my own self.
The process of memorizing the Fa was also a process of shedding my human shell. I remember in 1997 when I memorized the Fa up to lecture 6, I felt an unbelievably heart-wrenching feeling and subsequently broke into tears of anguish. I felt as if something was leaving me and going far away. Looking back, that was an instance of thought karma struggling just before its death. That experience was just like the feeling of fundamental change and new life when I memorized Hong Yin IV this time around. Master plainly and clearly told us that our homes are in the heavens, so why was I taking my life in the human world so seriously? Master said in Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference, “Just think about what a long, drawn-out process each cultivator has gone through over the course of his or her history on Earth. And the principles in the human world are reversed: what seems good to you is bad when viewed from the other side. What smells good to you is considered foul over there. Everything is reversed.” Now that I think about it, with me manifesting as so strong and able among humans, on the other side I am actually the stupid and incompetent. The loss of one’s true self is what’s most fearful. Master said in Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference, “Actually, I used to tell you about how in the past a cultivator couldn't care less about what the world's people said about him. If somebody said he was good or he was bad, it was [to him just] something humans said, not gods. In fact, there have been a lot of people in history the world's people said were bad, and it's even been put that way in textbooks and historical accounts, but it's possible they became gods. And there are those who the world's people exalted as role models but who went to Hell after death. That's because when people talk about good and bad it's all based on human interests. Human principles are reversed: when people think something is good, it's not necessarily truly good, and when people think something is bad, it's not necessarily truly bad. In other words, cultivators didn't heed what people said. But today's Fa-rectification is different, and whether someone says Dafa and Dafa disciples are good or bad determines that person's future.” Master has explained this so clearly; I should never use false human principles to let myself play the role of the “strong man” any longer.
Cultivating up to the present, I want to thank Master helping me untie the numerous knots tying me and keeping me stranded in the human world. Melting into the Fa has allowed me to gradually find my true self that originates from the heavens. "In the delusion I forgot who I was. Dafa cleared the delusion. The loved ones in heaven are waiting, so hurry to onboard the Fa boat and discard the human mortal." (Hong Yin IV).
Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.
Translated From: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/152059