After Being Misunderstood
[PureInsight.org] An idea suddenly hit in my mind when I was in Meditation: What will you do today if tomorrow is Fa rectification of the human world? A cold shiver ran down my spine. There are too many sentient beings not saved; too many things not done and too many regrets!
I still had an unsolved issue: a misunderstanding with fellow practitioner A.
One day, practitioner A wanted to pick up documents. I told him I was at downstairs of practitioner B’s home and would visit another practitioner immediately at ten miles away as scheduled. I wondered if I could call him after I came back. He seemed very frustrated and said he didn’t need it. A few days later, a fellow practitioner told me A said he wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I didn’t look inward carefully those days being busy at Fa-rectification work. Later I recalled the whole thing and didn’t find anything wrong with myself. Then I thought it must be interference from the old forces. I should talk to him.
One day, I met fellow practitioner A and he told me she was looking for help to store exercise practice music in his MP3. Then I sat at the back seat of his bicycle and said, “I am an expert on it. Let’s go to my home.” At my home, I said let’s pour out our hearts. Then I knew he misunderstood I was lying that day because he was close to B’s house and didn’t see us. I said we all practiced universal Fa “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance". The first one was Truthfulness. Please trust me. The other two fellow practitioners who were with me at that day all told him the same thing. However, no matter how I explained to him, he didn’t trust me. What was the problem? Then I remembered Master said in Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX ,“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” I looked inward and found lots of attachments.
1. Neglect Truthfulness assimilation
I was brought up very strictly and influenced by traditional culture. So I didn’t pay much attention on assimilating to truthfulness because I believed I was an honest person. However I was soaked in party culture of intrigue and flattering every day; even the number in my office’s report was false. Lying was so common in the office. A few days ago, when I was about to participate group Fa study, my director general saw me and asked why I wasn’t leaving. I said I was waiting for someone which was not true. During Fa study, I suddenly saw a sewing needle flying to my hand. Since I was sitting on the floor with a book in one hand, and another hand on my leg, there was no reason for the needle flying to me. Then I realized Master reminded me to assimilate to truthfulness, which is homophonic with needle in Chinese pronunciation.
2. Attachment to Fame
I grew up with a strong self-esteem and wanted to be first on everything. As an adult, I always pursued the happiness of life. With the attachment to fame, I enjoyed showing off. Once in a group Fa study, everyone looked inward for lust attachment. A fellow practitioner told us how it could influence people. I immediately told them how I passed the lust test without looking for my attachment. Wasn’t I showing off? I was influenced by the old force immediately with running nose symptom. It was shameful that I kept talking in most group Fa studies previously.
3. Attachment to Fellow Practitioners
It has been several years for us to cooperate on Fa- rectification projects. The fellow practitioner A helped me a lot without complain, no matter how bitter or tired. I could still remember a chilly snowing day, he moved something to upstairs. I was surprised when I opened the door: he was smiling with steaming head. The back of his winter jacket was wet; not sure it was because of snowing or sweat. I was so touched and tears almost came out. Maybe I could face the misunderstanding calmly from other fellow practitioner; but not A.
I also had other symptoms including toothache and continuing running nose when I tried to help fellow practitioners when they had fake sickness karma or illegal persecution. Obviously, these were attachments to the fellow practitioners. I also found I didn’t attach to any specific fellow practitioner, but to the word of “fellow practitioner”.
4. Negative Thoughts
I had some negative thoughts when I was misunderstood such as why I had to do it? Why had I suffered it? I should clarify the truth on the street to save more people. Then my complaint and impatience all came out together because of practitioner A’s bad side. Such as he did half job last year and did the same thing this year…….When I studied lecture Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference, Master said, “ I’ve said before that mankind has failed time and again to draw positive lessons; people always manage to remember the negative ones." I understood, we should put down ourselves and benefit the entire body. Then the old forces couldn’t interval us.
5. Attachment to the Fellow Practitioner’s attachment
I couldn’t put down the misunderstanding with a practitioner and explained three times. In Zhuan Falun, Master said, “Of course, we can explain it kindly, we can clarify things—that’s not a problem. But you shouldn’t get too attached.” I was the one who got too attached. The fellow practitioner in the same Fa study group reminded me too.
Before writing this experience, I still wanted to publish this matter to let everybody know I was right. I believed practitioner A wouldn’t wrong me. Isn’t it a selfish attachment to confirm myself?
“Looking inward" was not until things happened; but the moment my thoughts aroused. I should practice looking inward more seriously.
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/153572