PureInsight | October 6, 2016
[PureInsight.org] I am eighty years old now and have lived through national brainwashing and the Cultural Revolution of the evil Chinese Communist Party culminating in strong attachments to malice and revenge.
In 1998, I was lucky to having started practicing Falun Gong, and dove into Fa study, the exercises and introducing Fa. I admired Master from the bottom of my heart. Master told us to be good so I wished to get well with my daughter in law’s family again. We had a fight before because my daughter in law’s father came to my house to raise hell for an unknown reason and threatened to sue me. I fought back because I was short of self – discipline at the time. Now I practiced Falun Gong so couldn’t treat everything like an ordinary person. I visited him with a gift and told him the Fa required us to be good and not fight back. I should be good to everyone. He was very happy too and I never bore malice towards him.
However, I still hated my daughter in law. After marrying my son, she listened to her parents over everything including money. My son complained to me until I really couldn’t take anymore and said something spiteful to my daughter in law. She always lived at her parent’s home after marrying my son and often caused trouble. Later, my son filed for divorce even though neither really wanted to divorce. I then invited a match maker to my home and scolded my daughter in law at the front of others and deeply hurt her increasing the conflict between us. I despised her and looked down on her. Whenever something made me unhappy, I would tell my colleague her bad side. I often got sick but she never came to see me yet I would go to help if she was in trouble because I cherished my son and my grandson.
Actually, she could endure hardship for a young person. Her classmates and colleagues all thought she was the kind of person with a successful career. She had a part time job in another company and refused all money or gifts from her subordinates saying as long as they did good job she wouldn’t embarrass them. After her resignation, the boss still put money in her card which she returned at the end of the year. I was so narrow minded and filled with strong malice and revenge by only looking at her bad side. When she didn’t do things properly because of her young age.
I have been practicing Dafa over ten years doing the three things even setting up an information center at my home. However, I memorized the Fa by heart to assimilate to the Fa and learned why practitioners should look inward. To resolve conflicts. I didn’t have those concepts. Even worse, some literal meanings in Zhuan Falun were hard for me to understand. I have fallen behind in my practice and need to try to catch up. I downloaded the new lecture, Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference and learnt it by heart after several times of studying. I truly felt I studied well since the layers of Fa principles unfurled in front of me and I must have assimilated to the Fa because my heart became so quiet.
My awareness also improved after more Fa study. I was an elder and mother in law in an ordinary people’s family. I was also a practitioner of the universe’s Dafa, not an ordinary person. I hurt my daughter in law since I didn’t follow Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. She could have easily misunderstood Dafa. It would be a great sin for me if the beings behind my daughter in law couldn’t be saved. At Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference Master said, “Suppose someone tries to reflect on where he did wrong in any disagreement he comes across, and apologizes to the other party after figuring things out.” In Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference, Master said, “Since cultivation is something that you must do proactively, out of your own will, when you are tempted by profit and gain, or when you suffer the wrenching pain in connection to your reputation and emotions, you must really be able to readily let go of those things, and only then will things work out for you.” I eventually apologized to my daughter in law by putting my attachments down to vanity. In front of my son, I apologized to my daughter in law again. Then I felt relaxed.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/153730