PureInsight | October 29, 2016
[PureInsight.org] I am 80 years old. Since experiencing the Cultural Revolution and national brainwashing by the evil Chinese Communist Party, I've had a strong attachment to malice and revenge.
In 1998, I was so lucky as to start practicing Falun Gong. I dived into Fa study, practicing the exercises and introducing the Fa. I admired Master from the bottom of my heart. Master told us to be good people. So I wished to improve my relationship with my daughter-in-law’s family. We had a fight a while back, because my daughter-in-law’s father had come to my house and threatened to sue me for no known reason. I had also fought back, because I was short of self-discipline. Now that I practice Falun Gong, I cannot treat things as ordinary people do. I visited my daughter-in-law’s father with a gift and told him that the Fa requires me to be a good person and not fight back. I should be good to everyone. He was very happy and since then I never bore malice towards him.
However, I still hated my daughter-in-law. After marrying my son, she took her parents' advice on everything, including about money. My son kept complaining about this to me, until I really couldn’t afford bailing him out anymore. My daughter-in-law lived with her parents after the marriage and often had trouble with my son. He later filed a divorce, although neither of them actually wanted it. I invited a match maker to my home, but scolded my daughter-in-law in front of other people. It deeply hurt her and ruined our relationship further. I despised her. Whenever something made me unhappy, I would bad-mouth my daughter-in-law to my colleagues. Because I cherished my son and grandson, I did go to help her if she had trouble. But when I often became sick, she would intentionally stay away rather than offer a hand.
Actually, my daughter-in-law could endure more hardship than current young people could. Her classmates and colleagues all thought that she was kind with a successful career. She had a part-time job in another company. She refused to accept money and gifts from those below her and told them that as long as they did a good job, she wouldn’t embarrass them. Also after her resignation, the boss continued paying her, but she returned it all at the end of the year. I had been so narrow minded with such strong malice and revenge, that I could only see her bad side.
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 10 years. I have been doing the three things and have set up a material production site at my home. However, when it came to studying the Fa from the heart, assimilating to the Fa and looking inward, I still felt confused. I didn’t have those concepts in my mind. Even worse, I even found it hard to understand some literal meanings of words in Zhuan Falun. I should try to catch up, because I've fallen too far behind in my practice. I studied the new lecture from the Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference several times and I truly felt that I had studied with my heart, not half-hearted as usual, because layers of Fa principles unfurled in front of me. I must have assimilated into the Fa, because my heart was so quiet.
My awareness was improved after more Fa study. I was an elder and a mother-in-law in an ordinary family setting. But I was a practitioner of Dafa, not ordinary person. I hurt my daughter-in-law because I didn’t follow Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. She consequently misunderstood Dafa. I will have committed a great sin if the beings behind my daughter-in-law couldn’t be saved. In the Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference, Master said, “Suppose someone tries to reflect on where he did wrong in any disagreement he comes across, and apologizes to the other party after figuring things out.”
And in the 2010 Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference, Master said, “Since cultivation is something that you must do proactively, out of your own will, when you are tempted by profit and gain, or when you suffer the wrenching pain in connection to your reputation and emotions, you must really be able to readily let go of those things, and only then will things work out for you.”
I eventually apologized to my daughter-in-law after letting go of the attachment to vanity. Later I apologized to my daughter-in-law again, in front of my son. I felt so relaxed afterwards.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/153730