Several Examples of looking Inwards
[PureInsight.org] Four years ago, I told my husband sincerely that I didn’t really think I was a true Dafa disciple. As a Mom, I told him, I didn’t do the basics looking after the kids. “And as your wife, I didn’t care about you and fooled you often,” I added. “With my daughter- in-law, it is said that, ‘Piety comes first!’ But I was often angry, ‘ No piety.’”
1: ‘Starting over’
I told my husband I could start over as a new disciple. I thought my husband would say, “You would become one eventually, But to my surprise, he said, “Falun Dafa is so good. You don’t need to force me to be diligent in cultivation, I know what to do.”
2: ‘Negate the persecution’
I was illegally detained in a detention center. Any new comer would clean the grounds while others sat on both sides of the beds. The supervisor said bad words using Master’s name. I looked inward and realized I should be against the persecution. Then I stood up and said, “Please respect me and don’t speak badly using Master’s name. I wouldn’t speak like that of your Dad.” She immediately clapped and said, “Falun Dafa is good.” Later, all people in the room quitted the CCP.
3: ‘Learning forbearance’
An old aunt would often lose her place and couldn’t find where she was reading. She kept asking me where she was up to. It was annoying. Again she looked for my help by leaning her body into me. I thought, “Don’t ask me again.” Then I looked inward and found I couldn’t concentrate when I was reading. Immediately, I focused on Fa and she found her place.
4: ‘Improving Fa study, environment changes’
At the new city, my practice environment changed. I was in a very bad condition and couldn’t study Fa by heart and I was anxious to change it. I thought quietly about that after group Fa study. During Shenyun promotions, I kept reading two chapters of Zhuan Falun, reciting Hong Yin, Hong Yin II, Hong Yin III and reading all Dafa books in half year. Plus, I practiced two times every day and practiced excise two for one hour. During that period, four hours sleep was the most I had because I had to distribute documents. How couldn’t I do it now? I realized it was because people’s compliments on me such as, “You are really good… ”
5: ‘Realizing an attachment to fame’
Nobody recognized me so I didn’t have any opportunity to show off. People who came with me also told me to lay low. It was terrible to cultivate for fame. I re-studied the lectures of Towards Consummation, “You may start on the path of Dafa with those thoughts, yet over the course of cultivation you need to regard yourself as a cultivator. During the course of cultivation, however, through reading the books, studying the Fa, and diligently making progress, you should clearly recognize what your thoughts were when you first came to Dafa. After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven’t gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa.”
When I studied this lecture in 2004, I found my fundamental attachments. I had no goals, no degree and came from a poor family. I developed an inferiority complex which made me unable to look up. The fellow practitioners here were so nice without caring about degrees and the social status. I also got to know my husband, a software engineer with a bachelor degree. My inferiority complex and fame attachments were comforted. I found my fundamental attachment to fame. Most likely, most of my attachments sprung from here. After realizing that, my life changed a lot. With an elementary school experience, I could even get a job requiring a college background.
6: ‘Cultivating away an inferiority complex’
Around December 2015, a fellow practitioner helped me dig out a fundamental attachment, deep inferiority. But I did believe it was not me. I cultivated it away layer by layer. Until one day, it was like a piece was pulled out from my chest. I have felt a fundamental change since. Today, I restudied Fa and found another fundamental attachment, to validate self. I memorized an article from a fellow practitioner, “At first, you should put yourself as a very tiny particle to face other beings in the universe. You are like a little star among the vastness of the stars.”
That day, it was very late for me to study Fa sitting cross-legged in front of Master’s portrait. Nobody could see me except all the high level spirits. I immersed myself in Fa and saw another layer of the meaning. Theoretically, I knew what my problem was. Then I found a new job and a house in my city and my dilemma was resolved.
7: ’Digging out my attachment to fame’
I began to cultivate away my attachment to fame. It constantly reminded me how I would exchange with other people. I knew my fame to attachment well enough to draft a response. I was so nervous and my hands were shaking as I was reading. I knew it was not me. Then I was interrupted before finishing the whole article. The fame attachment was very uncomfortable. The next day afternoon, I felt a little better. In the evening, I talked to an aunt who was a bystander and she helped me find the fundamental attachment. She said, “You still want to validate yourself by getting something from Fa, you are not completely dissolved into Fa.” I accepted what she said and didn’t try to conceal it. An uncomfortable feeling disappeared. Before that I told her how I appreciated her. She said sincerely, “In fact, I have it and that’s why I could see yours.”
The next day, the landlord approached me to learn Falun Gong. A person who met me on the road and left a phone number called me. He not only quit the Party, he also learned Falun Gong. I dug out my fundamental attachments and helped predestined beings along the way.
I was in the process of eliminating the attachment to validate myself in other dimensions.
8: ‘Finding my attachment to lust’
One day, I wanted to open my eyes during the second exercise. A pretty bag appeared before my eyes. I immediately caught an attachment to lust. I recalled an article from a fellow practitioner; “Enjoying the beautiful flowers is a lust attachment as well.” I told a fellow practitioner, but she said she couldn’t understand. It was hard to eliminate the lust attachment and so I recited the article “Cultivators’ Avoidances”. One day, I went to a restaurant to put up posters and waited for response from the manager. Then a boy walked in smiling at a girl. I thought they were in love. I was still thinking about this when a staff member came to tell me the manager didn’t agree to the posters. I knew my lust attachment had blocked saving beings. I shared with a fellow practitioner and she said she had a dream about lust. The practitioner said lust came to find her that day because someone touched her hands. We also talked about a third practitioner who also said she had a lust attachment. That evening, I was so sleepy and unable to keep my eyes open. I knew it was the lust attachment blocking me from obtaining the Fa. The third practitioner also could not resist sleepiness. I decided to disintegrate the lust attachment. I immediately became very clear. Meanwhile, the practitioner who was standing also sat down clear minded. I recalled “The next person's things are your things, and your things are his things.” from Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference. I have more to understand.
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/154077