PureInsight | August 5, 2002
Master said, 'The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.' (Lecture 7 of Zhuan Falun), 'The desire to show off plus the attachment of zealotry are most easily exploited by the demonic part of your mind.' (From 'Definitive Conclusion' Essentials for Further Advancement)
I have always considered myself as someone without much jealousy, and have always felt pleased with myself because it seemed that I could often quickly gain a good understanding of the Fa principles. I would always feel a sense of self-satisfaction when my articles were published one after another on the Clearwisdom and Pureinsight websites. When I saw that Master had commented on articles written by other practitioners, I felt quite envious and thought, 'Wouldn't it be nice if Master would comment on my articles!'
Not long ago, I wrote several articles, which I thought were pretty good. But none of them were published. Looking at the published articles written by other practitioners, I thought that they were not as good as mine. I felt a bit agitated, with all kinds of attachments coming out. One moment I would guess that perhaps the editors still had not received my articles; the next moment I would think that the articles might be published at a later date when it was more appropriate. In time, I lost interest in writing articles.
I had a dream last night, in which I was assigned to play a role, but I declined the assignment with various excuses. When I woke up I started to look within myself and discovered some very strong attachments. I had developed a strong desire to show off and the attachment of zealotry because of the frequent publication of my articles. When my articles were not chosen for publication, instead of looking inward, I sought external causes, to the extent that I was 'exploited by the demonic part' of my mind, and this magnified my jealousy. In the end, I saw myself as being hopeless and gave up the role that I should have played.
Master told us, 'Everything in the world came for this Dafa, was formed for Dafa, and was created for Dafa.'(From 'Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference' in Guiding the Voyage) This includes the Dafa disciples' various talents. This had all been arranged for the Fa-rectification. We Dafa disciples all have different strengths, and each person is playing a different role in the Fa-rectification by utilizing these strengths. Our duty is to do well in what we should do. If we cannot understand the Fa from the perspective of the Fa, then the evil will take advantage of our attachments to our strengths in order to cause interference and damage.
My talent in writing is here for the purpose of assisting Master in the Fa-rectification, not for showing-off; even less is it for self-intoxication with success. The righteous understandings of other practitioners are also for validating the Fa and improving themselves. They are not for nourishing my jealous mentality; even less is it for me to give up when my desire to show off and my attachment of zealotry are not satisfied. My original nature is pure and kind, but jealousy, showing-off and zealotry are developed postnatally based on selfish emotions, and they are filthy. They are the things that we need to get rid of in cultivation. How can I treat these selfish, filthy things as being a part of myself?
When I saw these attachments with righteous thoughts, I felt as if I had just shed a shell, feeling very relaxed in my heart. I could also see very clearly the manifestation of the evil: it always tries to interfere with us where we think highly of ourselves. The evil will exploit and magnify our attachments, especially when we overemphasize our own so-called capabilities in an everyday people's sense. In my case, my mentality of showing off, and attachments of zealotry and jealousy were magnified when I became attached to my writing abilities.
Understandings based on righteous thoughts are unselfish, whereas understandings based on showing off, zealotry and jealousy are selfish and filthy. I should no longer be attached to whether or not my articles will be published. Instead, I should write about benevolent and unselfish understandings, which are completely for the Fa and sentient beings. When we write articles for Dafa websites in particular, we should consider rationally and with a clear head what kind of objective impression or effect every word and sentence will have on different types of readers. This includes practitioners in various cultivation states and everyday people with all kinds of notions. It also includes the evil beings that are waiting for an opportunity to persecute us at all times and how we need to clarify the truth to them. Even when we purposefully choose to focus an article toward one particular group of readers, we should try our best to consider everyone.