Coming Out from a Bad Cultivation State

A Dafa Disciple from Texas

PureInsight | June 26, 2006


1. Coordination

When I just started cultivation, I thought that, as Dafa disciples, we
should all use similar ways to spread the Fa, treat others kindly, and
so on.  Later on, I found that when something happened, different
disciples had different perspectives and ways to deal with it, even
though they all did it for the sake of Dafa. I see it happening in our
various activities and some Dafa projects.  

This brings up the issue of coordination.  One time I attended a
big parade.  A lot of practitioners came from different areas and
brought with them many banners.  The local practitioners also
prepared many banners and poster boards.  When the parade was
about to start, a few practitioners joined our group with a
banner.  Shortly after, a local practitioner went up to them and
said that the banner they were holding should not be displayed because
its message was inconsistent with the theme of our group.  The
practitioners who held the banner became so sad, "We heard that the
parade needed banners.  It took us a lot of time and effort to
make this one.  We tried to join several groups.  All groups
said our banner didn't fit their theme.  We will stay here. 
We are not going anywhere."  The local practitioner didn't
compromise either, "We have strict selection criteria.  We can
even only display one out of several local banners!"

Of course, this is only an example.  Similar situations are common
in different Dafa projects.  Sometimes the conflicts
escalate.  People on one side think the other side is wrong and
vice versa.

I have encountered the same thing also.  I am more clearheaded
when I am studying the Fa.  But I usually forget about the
principles when something actually happens to me.  Sometimes when
I ask myself to consider issues from a different perspective, I acquire
a different understanding because I am able to go beyond self.

2. Selfishness

Ordinary people have a saying "as long as one is a monk, he will hit
the temple bell every day." It has a negative connotation.  It
means passively fulfilling one's responsibility without paying
attention.  I find myself doing the same thing sometimes.  It
seems that I feel content as long as I'm doing Fa-study, some projects
and sending righteous thoughts every day.  

Sometime I don't think my cultivation state is right.  Master
asked us to achieve altruism.  Currently a lot of fellow
practitioners are detained and tortured in China.  Some are even
being tortured to death.  If this happened to my family members,
would I feel content with myself if all I did to help was to
participate in some activities?  If it were my child who had
become an orphan, would I still feel the same?

I remember that several times when my projects were going smoothly, I
even felt quite proud.  I chewed my "accomplishments" in my mind
even during Fa-study or sending righteous thoughts.  I couldn't
concentrate.  Afterwards, the seemingly "smooth" things didn't
develop the way what I thought they would at all.  Then I realized
that it was my attachment of zealotry that disturbed my Fa-study and
sending righteous thoughts.

One reflection of my bad cultivation state is low efficiency. 
Five or ten minutes passed by before I noticed that I hadn't even
finished reading one page during Fa study.  Sometimes I fell
asleep during sending righteous thoughts.  When I woke up, I saw
that exactly 15 minutes went by.  Sometimes I stared at the same
line on the computer screen without knowing what to do when I was

Sometimes this type of state lasts a long time.  I didn't seem to
be able to do anything with it.  Sometimes I simply dreamed of how
things would get better by themselves some day.  Sometimes I even
felt relaxed when I heard that other practitioners had similar
cultivation states.

In fact, these are not proper states.  For example, when we are
reading an ordinary magazine, do we doze off?  When we are working
at the computer at work, do we become so sleepy?

I am trying to overcome this unconscious state.  For example,
reading the Fa standing up makes it harder to doze off.  Studying
the Fa before sending righteous thoughts helps to increase the
power.  When doing Dafa work, I pause a little bit and think about
what I am doing here.  In addition, I ask myself what a god would
do if it were to encounter the same problem.

Every practitioner has his/her own issues.  Sometimes simply
copying others doesn't solve the problem.  No matter what, when we
act from our heart, we will see the difference.

3.  "Pass the Deadly Test"

When I first saw Master's scripture "Pass the Deadly Test," I didn't
think it was very relevant to me.  I didn't have contact with any
spies, and I thought my attachment of lust was pretty low. 
However, I acquired a deeper understanding later on.

There have been a couple of times during my cultivation when I felt
that everything that could go wrong did go wrong.  My workplace
was not happy with me. Family members argued with me. There were strong
conflicts among practitioners.  There seemed to be no way
out.  However, I knew I was a cultivator and I had Master with
me.  My feeling at that time was that I had to take a leap in my
cultivation instead of improving a bit here and there.

Everyone's situation is different.  Sometimes I dreamed of having
a cultivator family and high salary.  This way, my cultivation
would go more smoothly and I would be able to offer more financial
support to various Dafa projects. However, imagination is only
imagination.  Then I complained about my bad luck.

Later I realized that it was wrong.  Master said that "the great
Tao has no form."  If so, then why I have to have everything other
practitioners have in order to cultivate?  Isn't it validating the
Fa if I can walk my own path with my current situations?  At
least, I can meet the requirements for Fa-study, exercises, and
assimilating to the Fa just the same as other practitioners.

One time I went home after attending Dafa activities. I had been away
for quite a few days. I thought about whether my non-cultivating wife
would complain.  On a second thought, I recalled that the Fa had
taught me that ordinary people were affected by cultivators.  Why
should I think too much?  Then I completely let go of this
issue.  Nothing happened after I arrived home.

After the New York Fa conference, I studied the "Teaching the Fa in the
City of Los Angeles."  I am calmer now.  I try not to defend
myself when I encounter conflicts.  Then I will think for the
other party by placing myself in his/her situation.  Then I
realize that a lot of things are not coincidental.  Almost
everything that occurs to me reflects my shortcomings, directly or
indirectly.  It's either that I am not considerate enough or I
don't communicate well with others.

I realize some of my shortcomings.  For example, I am more at ease
when writing articles.  I'm a little afraid of clarifying the
truth verbally.  Sometimes I use the excuse of "using my strength
to compensate for my weakness" to slack off on where I need to
improve.  Of course, I should make full use of my strengths. 
But that doesn't mean I shouldn't improve on my weaknesses.  

We can tolerate our own shortcomings for a long time, but cannot
tolerate others'.  Just like how other practitioners cannot
tolerate ours.  Cultivation is not killing time.  Since we
have attachments and they should be removed sooner rather than later,
why should we care too much about others' attitudes?

Many of my shortcomings have caused unnecessary roadblocks in my
cultivation path and inconveniences to my fellow practitioners. 
Sometimes if I loosen up on improving myself, tribulations grow bigger
and cause more loss.  I don't know if other practitioners have
experienced the same thing.  I hope we can all encourage each
other and advance together in our cultivation.

Translated from:

Add new comment