PureInsight | September 4, 2013
[PureInsight.org] Usually when fellow practitioners discuss being tortured by the security forces while in detention, they do not feel too much suffering; they all say Master endured it for them. When practitioners pass illness karma tribulations, they also say Master endured it for them. This is true. If not for our great compassionate Master enduring for us, it would be difficult for us to make it to today. Thus Dafa disciples and people who understand the truth thank Master’s salvation and great compassion.
Once a fellow practitioner and I had a conversation about the things we did not do well during the persecution. Had we been cultivating in a different era, we would have been ruined. However, Master does not accept this persecution and still treated us as his disciples, enduring the karma we created. During the conversation, I realized how casually I spoke of Master enduring everything for us, as if Master was supposed to endure for us, and as if Master was at such a high level that it did not take much effort to endure for us. In reality, the pain Master endures for us is inconceivable. Master had to drink a bowl of poison just to cure one case of a person’s stroke. How painful must it be to endure for every living being?!
Thus I began searching the depths of my thoughts and found a bad human notion: that of using Master and using Dafa. Because I knew my base and enlightenment quality were bad and I strayed on my cultivation path, I would sometimes be immersed in deep regret and rejoice at having great compassionate Master endure all this karma for me and not give up on this disappointing disciple. I frequently thanked Master for this, but because I have not completely eliminated my selfish roots, the bad inconspicuous notion of using Master and using Dafa subconsciously grew. “Master is compassionate, and Dafa is enormous. As long as I can persevere to the end, I will consummate. Even though I did not cultivate well, Master will rectify me.” How dirty this thought is! My reaction whenever encountering any difficulty was to immediately study more Fa, send forth more righteous thoughts, or ask Master for reinforcement. But I began to relax myself once everything passed. Rather than putting real effort into being diligent and assimilating to Dafa, I instead relied on Master and Dafa. I relied on external factors to obtain my own goal. This sort of crafty mentality of wanting to take shortcuts is characteristic of the old universe’s beings. However, in order to become a being in the new universe, one must cultivate selflessness. Now that I found and uncovered this bad notion, I will eliminate it and use the Fa to rectify and cultivate myself to become a qualified Fa-rectification Dafa disciple.
Whether or not one has cultivated solidly is reflected in every small incident. From one small incident, many human notions are revealed. From this point of view, one must begin from the minor details, just like Master said, “he is full of great aspirations while minding minor details” (“Sage,” Essentials for Further Advancement). Below are a few examples.
Once I walked in front of a six- or seven-year-old boy on the street. He pointed a toy gun at my face. I did not know whether the gun had toy bullets or water inside. Aside from whether it would hurt if he really shot me, how embarrassing would it be if someone saw? I said, “Little friend, do not point guns at people.” However, even after I said it multiple times, he still had it aimed at me. I was not sure anymore, so I reached out and grabbed his gun with one hand and lightly spanked his butt with the other. I told him, “Little friend, you should not aim guns at people. Shooting people is not good. They will spank you.” Then I quickly left.
Later when I examined what happened from a practitioner’s perspective, I realized the inadequacies of my cultivation state. First of all, a child was able to affect me. I was scared of being hit and being embarrassed. I recall that Master once said in a Fa lecture that in order to cultivate to the Arhat level, even kids will dare to bully you, yet I was affected by such a small encounter. I was worse than an Arhat’s xinxing standard. When talking to the kid, I displayed my deep poisoning by the Chinese Communist Party culture: I displayed the philosophy of “if you do not mess with me, I will not mess with you” by explaining to the child that the consequence of hitting someone is getting hit yourself rather than telling him that doing so will lose virtue. Even if the child did not know what virtue was, it would be deeply seeded in his young spirit. This encounter also revealed my attachment to competitiveness. I did not look inward at the time and ask myself why the child pointed a gun at me. Did he do it to target my attachment to competitiveness or to test my cultivation? It seems that cultivation does not ignore minor details. One must constantly not forget that one is a cultivator. Thus I targeted my habit of not minding the minor details in order to find my human notions.
For example, whenever I do a little more work in my workplace, I always want my boss to know about it. This is an attachment of showing off, of fame, and of becoming upset when someone else gets a bonus and I do not. Sometimes I think I am justified to take home leftover bottles of glue. However, it is just an attachment to benefits. When my co-workers gossip about people, I do the same instead of minding my speech. When a fellow practitioner asks if I read a good article online, I blurt out that I wrote it. My attachment to being overly happy and showing off are both revealed. Even though I suppress my attachment to showing off, I always want to tell everyone how many articles I have published. I do not wake up to do the exercises when the alarm clock goes off in the mornings and instead reassure myself by thinking there is nothing wrong with starting a little late. However, many times I never end up doing them. In reality, it is an attachment to comfort. When I see someone who looks pretty, I inadvertently take another look and euphemistically claim that this is an attraction towards beauty inherent in everyone. In reality, it is an attachment to lust. Whenever I feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, my state of mind becomes disturbed due to my attachment of fear. Whenever I turn on the computer, I always want to peruse ordinary information on DongTaiWang. I waste time yet reassure myself that this information may be useful in clarifying the truth or writing articles. In reality it is an attachment to curiosity, wasting time, and reliance on ordinary people. I purposefully find shortcomings in practitioners who cultivate well to compare them to me or compare my strengths to others. This is an attachment of jealousy and self-reassurance. From the aforementioned examples, I recognize that my cultivation is not solid and strict enough. I do not use Fa to evaluate my every word and action. Although we shouldn’t be overcautious, we must still be strict with ourselves. We should not dismiss something just because it is a small issue. Whether it is something big or small, we must do well, cultivate solidly, and steadily walk along the large golden path in assisting Master in Fa-rectification and saving sentient beings.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/118858