PureInsight | November 10, 2015
[PureInsight.org] I used to be very reluctant to go to my parent’s home because of argument with my Dad just after very few words. Nobody wanted to give in.
After practicing Dafa, I knew I should be considerate and forgiveful by thinking of others first and kind to others, including my relatives. So I decided to get along with my father calmly without losing my temper. However, I did poorly even after ten years of practice. Sometimes I was very upset because I even fought back loudly if my Dad sounded bitter. I hated myself for not be able to get through this xinxing test.
On 1 October this year, I went back to my parent’s house with my husband. My dad was still always emphasizing his opinion or talking about current events in society as before. I tried to control myself not to be angry or argue. I felt my head was so calm and relaxed without the previous distraught and I made it at last.
After arriving home I realised all my father's performance was for my xinxing improvement. When I was not tolerant to others, my surrounding environment became impure with negative things which cause my human attachment to come out. When I realized I should tolerate people with no argument and showing off, the environment would be surrounded by positive energy from Dafa; people may have righteous thoughts to suppress those bad thoughts by themselves. As a cultivator, I can only cultivate myself better by looking inward unconditionally. The environment can be changed and people can be uplifted.
After calming down, I found many attachments. For example: I didn’t like my father's bad temper, unsympathetic, selfish, show-off, boasting, jealousy, fearful, money-orientated, and talkative on current events. Now I can find all these in myself also. I always wanted my dad to change by telling him what to do and never looked inward to find why I couldn’t tolerate my Dad’s shortcomings as a cultivator. Now I realized all my dad’s performance was arranged to get rid of my attachments. I found I was still too far from what Master expected because I even didn’t have tolerance of a non-practitioner, not to mention a cultivator’s tolerance. My father was a mirror to reflect my attachments. Now I list all of those below and need get rid of them in Dafa cultivation to show all people the wonderfulness of Dafa.
1, Bad temper, grumpy, big demon-nature, rage, hurtful words. I didn’t like my Dad’s bad temper, intolerable and arguing with other people often. It was because my impure inward couldn’t be purified. So I was upset and became narrow-minded, plus intolerant.
2, Egocentric, self-righteous, show-off, boast. I was always angry whenever I saw my Dad expressing and emphasizing himself and never caring other people. Actually, I also had showing off attachment to satisfy my own vanity. I even hated people who touched my self-esteem and couldn’t tolerate people without kind thoughts. I never cared about my family members.
3, Feistiness, jealousy, looking down upon others. My dad always talked about people better than him disdainfully and looked down upon people not as good as him; but seldom praised others. I always reminded him to be calm, not caring about other people’s life. But he didn’t listen to me and I was always angry. I found strong jealousy and feisty in my heart. Also I looked down upon those people in difficulty. That’s why I was influenced by my Dad’s behavior because my environment was not pure.
4, Attachment on money. I was very angry because my Dad always paid me back after I purchased or paid the bill and never changed. Today I found I had too much attachment on money. I felt very unhappy and shorter on my money since I attached on it too much. It was all because of my own attachment.
5, Curious on current affairs news and gossip. I can always hear some current affairs or what was going on in the other family from my Dad at my parent’s home. Although I didn’t like it, I couldn’t stop him. Eventually I found I enjoyed talking about it with my co-workers in the office. It should be cultivation of speech. However, I didn’t make it as a cultivator, and also blamed my Dad on it.
I decided to get rid of all my attachments. In the human world, my cultivation exists in everywhere, any person I meet because our whole life is for cultivation. Master rearranged our life for cultivation. We won’t lose as long as we set ourselves within the Fa as a cultivator all the time. Then we can do well on our cultivation path arranged by Master!
It’s my current experience. If there is anything inappropriate, I hope fellow practitioners can kindly point it out!
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/148386