PureInsight | June 7, 2013
[PureInsight.org] Master has said: “The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn’t follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces’ arrangements”(“Be Clearheaded”). Looking back on my life, from my upbringing up until obtaining Dafa and cultivating, I have realized that the old forces had definitely created a set of very systematic arrangements for me. They had written the script and then waited for my performance, step by step. The main theme of this set of arrangements is affection and lust. This has become the main obstruction impeding the improvement of my cultivation and has been so for quite a long time.
I have been very affectionate since my childhood, and tended to be emotional toward boys that I admired in my heart, and I was very sincere. What’s more, I had read many romantic novels during my teen years and as a result I developed many human notions. I considered lust as something beautiful and enjoyable. In adulthood, I have not done well in this area, resulting in an extramarital affair. These things seem shameful now, but they were done with the excuse of “looking for true love” then. Looking back, from my childhood to adulthood, one thing linked with another step by step and everything has followed the arrangements of the old forces.
Consequently, lust and desire became a barrier that has continuously harassed me since the beginning of my cultivation. Sometimes I did well; sometimes I didn’t do well. As soon as I passed one barrier, there was always another one waiting for me, and it was always harder than the previous. I was puzzled as to why I was always going through these ordeals without end. As I have proceeded with my cultivation, I have become more and more sensitive to external interference. A few things have happened recently that have helped me to understand how the arrangements of the old forces function.
Inundated by lust
One night two months ago I suddenly felt that something clutched my heart when I was sleeping. Some kind of substance swarmed into my dimensional field. That very night I dreamt of many obscene things—it was like my brain was out of control. For a period of time after that, I would suddenly get very strong sexual desire, and would always think of these things. When I could calm down and look within, I understood that this was caused by large amounts of corrupted lust substances, which had been forced upon me from another dimension by the evil old forces.
Emotion that emerged from nowhere
Several months ago, a male practitioner who I was working with suddenly had a favorable impression of me and always smiled at me with subtle meaning in his eyes. As I was married, I felt quite baffled by this because it fundamentally should not happen. I did not know why this was happening and ended up responding to his favorable impressions by accident, as if I had passively become my formerly emotional self again.
After this happened, I looked within and realized that it was a trap. Relations between men and women is perhaps one of the easiest things that the old forces can exploit to persecute Dafa disciples. The substance of qing (sentiment), is by nature erratic and can come and go at a whim. It really can hurt people and destroy the cultivation will of Dafa disciples. It can kill two birds with one stone, destroying two people at the same time. The substance of this sentiment between the fellow practitioner and myself was actually created in another dimension, and thus it appeared suddenly without warning. If we did not have an iron will and followed it, it would be amplified and strengthened, causing us to sin and to deviate from the Fa in an attempt to destroy us.
Seeing these things clearly, I strengthened my will to look within. Did I still have the attachment of pursuing happiness and affection among human beings? Was I subconsciously hoping to gain the feelings of love and emotion between a man and woman in the human world? If I was, then I must suppress and eliminate these thoughts and substitute them with compassion while committing myself to Master’s path. I recited Master’s article “Expounding on the Fa” in order to distinguish clearly between my real and false self, and make the side that has already attained the Fa dominate myself.
For me, the process of eliminating this substance of qing was not something that could be accomplished all at one; instead, it took me several months. Sometimes I was puzzled. Why—after I had understood clearly the underlying reasons for why I was being interfered with and understood the principles of the Fa that have to do with this problem of mine—could I still not get over it? Only until after I began to write down this article for sharing did I realize that I had still had not completely eliminated this substance of qing. However, I have realized that it—be it in the form of lust or emotion—was imposed on me externally. It was not something that originally belonged to my true self.
The reason that the old forces could implant these bad things inside me, I thought, was related to karma that I had accumulated in the past after life after life of reincarnation. Possibly the karma that I had generated in my past lives in this aspect was quite large, so to some extent it was redemption. It was also likely related to the degenerate perceptions of things in the human world that I had accumulated in my past lives as well as this life, including degenerate human notions of love and feelings that I had unwittingly accepted from novels, articles, and movies, which caused me to become complacent and unable to distinguish myself from these thoughts of feelings and lust. I would even approve of and accept them; consequently it was very important for me to eliminate these degenerate notions. Another possible reason for this relates to predestined relationships that I had formed with the opposite gender in my past lives, some of which were probably good and others bad. The old forces fully exploited these factors to trap and persecute me over and over again, using these reasons to try and destroy my cultivation.
After realizing and going through all of this, I often add one thought when sending forth righteous thoughts: “disintegrate the old forces’ arrangements and anything they may have implanted in my body.” I might have been unable to see through their tricks before and made mistakes with my thoughts and behavior, but now I see it clearly and there is no chance that I will follow their arrangements. Only in Master’s Fa rectification can I deny them thoroughly. After experiencing this, I have a deeper understanding of “deny thoroughly the old force’s arrangements.” I think I can certainly disintegrate and deny thoroughly the old force’s arrangements in practice.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/116573